LAKESIDE HASH HOUSE HARIERS HASH TRASH
Run 903 November 14, 2001; Templestowe Hotel, Templestowe
Hare: Prince
.
Wings and Downsizing came late from work, as dance instructors, straight to Run 903 at the Templestowe Hotel, with Tightarse in tow. Naturally, no-one was around, the pack having long departed on trail. A brief look inside and Downsizing quickly sized up the Tempy as a most inauspicious Hash Venue; Death Metal blaring on the juke box; large screen flashing out the dogs from Ballarat, and local patrons leaning on every available bench space. Downsizing then spotted our Hare, the pony-tailed Prince, drinking alone, and summed things up with her immortal quote: “We must have come to the wrong place theres only one of those D & E wankers inside!”
Meanwhile, in idyllic greenery by the Yarra, the pack threads its way over a swinging suspension bridge and makes for a magnificent cathedral on a high hill. It is immediately chased off again by a large, coarse-mouthed lady. Wondering which religious denomination would be so unwelcoming in these days of falling congregations, I lope up to the signpost from behind and find it to read “Odyssey House”, upon which intelligence the pack retreats in even more haste, picking its way gingerly through the bush in fear of needle-stick injuries and desperado muggers going cold turkey.
Then back through suburban Templestowe, which used to be an enormous apple orchard before Lounge Lizard (now the convenor of Save Our Suburbs) single-handedly subdivided it as an apprentice surveyor in 1968. True to their legendary form, some of the studly Lakeside Hashers picked up a Mother & Daughter combination: Lose Some from KL Hash and daughter Win Some over a suburban back fence. Other visitors to the circle were KL Queen, Spinifex and Carpet Burn from Botany Hash, Tightarse (in a tight suit), and Weak as Piss from the Sunshine Coast. GG gave a long and rambling account of the run, which was indeed a long and rambling run.
Cooch managed to take 2-3 hours to finish the run along with Spinifex; so E & B charged Cooch with rolling in the bushes with Spinifex; or at least charged Spinifex with rolling in the Cooch with bush. Gerbils charged Wings & Down S. for being new homeowners. They drank quickly so they could rush their rented tuxes and dancing shoes back to the formal wear hire place. Downsizing quietly confided to nobody in particular that Wings is well-endowed, upon which Mummies Boy loudly relayed this news to the entire Circle (“its like a babys arm with an apple clenched in the fist”) so Downsizing charged MB with being terrible, and Wings charged him with having a terrible coat, unlike his own magnificent rented tux.
Gerbils charged Prince with having a tricky trail, and Pointy admitted to having a tricky tail, boasting of sleeping “with somebody in this room” at Ballarat. Baar-baa-ra charged Mummies for getting a lift back to the venue in Lizards BMW. Janus drank for his recent birthday. Hes just turned anywhere between 19 and 47, depending on which angle you look at him, and in which light. MB caught Lipstick with believing his Saints T-shirt represents the once-mighty Moorabbin Saints Hash. Shunt went for causing chaos again by closing down the entire rail system cos the train windows were rattling.
Tangles drank for keeping low profile, at least until after the circle. I stayed back to hear him and GG explain in fascinating detail about the techniques and joys of lighting farts. Only with cotton undies, warns GG. Must be lying prone, with one leg in the air, adds Tangles.
GG reminisces about the time he was driving along in his mates VW Beetle with his feet up on the dash. He lights one, as you do, and an ethereal blue flame blows right over the dashboard and forms a halo around the steering wheel. Aah, the beauty of Hash is that, whereas were only young once, we can be immature forever.
N.B: GG lost his wallet at Basterfield Park during Udders run on November 7 , and would be grateful for any information about its whereabouts (Ed: it probably slipped out of his pocket while he was lying on the grass with one leg propped in the air ).
On on,
Mummies Boy
UPCUMMING RUNS
Run 904 November 21 Lethal Fairfield Park Boat house
Fairfield Park Rd, Fairfield (!)
Melway: 30, J12
Run 905 November 28 E & B E&Bs St Andrews Highland Fling Run
115 Buckingham St, Richmond
Melway: 2H, D3 (Definitely not in
St.Andrews!) Wear something Scottish!
Run 906 December 5 GG Cheltenham Park, Cheltenham
Melway: 86 GG (erm G1, that
is)
UPCUMMING HASH EVENTS
D&E HHH 25th Anniversary Weekend
23 – 25 November. The run will be on Saturday afternoon
Saturday Evening – Dinner Dance – 7.30 till late. Sunday – Recovery Run with a BBQ Lunch.
Where: Grand Pacific Hotel Lorne. Cost: to be determined, but include Fabulous Buffet Dinner, Live Band, Hash Pack including badge and T-Shirt. Contact Derelict Jimmy Who or Ken Dome for bookings, or Email D&E. Accommodation: Full range of accommodation available from backpackers style at $25 pp per night to 3 bedroom apartments (sleep 6) at $250 per night.
Albury-Wodonga 1000th and Blue Moon Run.
Shelley Forestry Camp, Avendale Rd, Shelley via Murray Valley Highway, Nov 30 Dec 2. $100 before Nov 1; $120 after it. BYO bedding. Contact Ian Krunch-A Crellin (02) 6071-8577 or icc@albury.net.au
Western Suburbs Hash AGPU ,
December 4, Polo Club Hotel, North St. Ascot Vale. Melway: 28 K10
Lakeside H3 Christmas Party: Royal or Republicans.
Royal Brighton Yacht club, 253 St.Kilda St, Brighton, Melway: 67, C10. Saturday December 15 from 7 p.m. $5 Kris Kringle. Tickets $35 now.