LAKESIDE HASH HOUSE HARIERS HASH TRASH
Run 891: September 5, 2001 Windsor Castle Hotel, Windsor
Hare: Kakadu Dax_______________________________________
Dags, G-String and Astro were notable returnees this week, Astro all the way back from a stint on the Dark Continent where hed been spreading the Hash Gospel in the townships around Jo burg. He promptly forgot the layout in the Melway and went to the wrong pub. Astros got a taste for township life, cos hes now holed up in the garage of his own house. Another notable returnee was Kakadu Dax. That was quite handy, since he was the hare. Live hare, supposedly, but he ran dead. I dont think Kaka has ever got over his 15 seconds of fame when his footy prowess in the Werribee Bugle was broadcast all over the MCG scoreboard during that Pakistan v. Australia one-dayer a couple of years ago. He was hanging around the Long Room down at the G a few weeks ago, hobnobbing with footy celebrities again. At least hes come up with a GENUINE HASH FOOTY NEWS SCOOP, which you will read first at the close of this edition of the Lakeside Hash House Harriers Hash Trash.
The normally rowdy and verbose Point Post was lost for words when E & B asked for a run report, so Kling-On had to step into the breech. It was a ripper run, set in an ever-widening reverse spiral, heading unerringly for as K.O. duly noted the back streets of St.Kilda (aah-oooooh!!!). The complete absence of any nightworkers along all the usual avenues can only be attributed to Kakadus prior appearance shortly before in the same streets. Not even Gerbils, who was mysteriously absent, could be seen in her blonde wig. The streets were therefore safe for proper folk, and only rabbis, Hashers and virgins were out and about. The virgins were Julie and Margaret, and the visitors were E-Nose and Skiddy.
Kerrie had to drink from her new shoes; then Stand-in Sarge Too Dumb to Die charged Kezza and Big Julie for exceeding the allowable limit of Americans on one run. Special runs were TDTD (50), Mothball with the Nelson (111), and Dags definitely did not make 200 runs (again). Dags and G-String were charged with their upcoming wedding in a fortnight which was news to all and most particularly to Dags. G-String was charged by G-G for wanting to see fiancée Dags blow on his bugle during the run. Deep Throat isnt married but shes been at it again, as Baa-baa-ra found out, on another dirty weekend to Canberra.
Egg and Bacon Pie charged E-Nose and G-String for swapping birthing stories. The GM further got TDTD for perilous checking in heavy traffic, and Mummies Boy for trying to break into a Chapel Street formal wear boutique to rent his wedding tux; though Lethal was best-dressed on the night. Lethal was clad in monogrammed skivvy and pullover by Country Road, shades by Bollé, and tight trousers by the ToolShed of Oxford St, Sydney.
Skiddy isnt the only one leaving every week. Sideshow Bob, Jimmy the Scot, and Too Dumb to Die closed down the Windsor Castle after the run – left standing in the dark swapping dirty jokes with some pool shark named Drew while the barman tried to evict them by playing Dido. In that regard, Sideshow had a proper hash send-off before flying off to Saudi – Jimmy and TDTD left him behind with the pool shark, trying to get across some joke about paedophilia and dogs… Poor old Sideshow: say goodbye to the booze in Saudi, Sidey, though therell be plenty of the other two!
Having helped Lou Richards and Edna to their seats in the Long Room, and having wearied of seeing the spectacle of another Collingwood thrashing through the glass, Kakadu Dax drained his whisky and soda and headed on down to his favourite local in South Melbourne in search of action. And then he saw Him secreted away in a darkened corner, moustache gone, hair all fallen out with only a few greasy strands hanging down the nape of the neck God Himself. Yes folks, it was Gary Geezer Ablett Himself; fallen from grace; consorting with two tarts, glancing furtively around and racked by a nervous tic. But saddest of all he was wearing Ug Boots. And so as scripture teaches us (2 Samuel 1:19), “How the Mighty have fallen ”
On on
Mummies Boy
UPCUMMING RUNS
Run 892 September 5 Rugarse & Yarra Bend Park
Whinging Pom Picnic and BBQ area with shelter on
Yarra Bend Road.
The southernmost of the two between the Yarra Bend public golf course and Kane’s footbridge.
Melway: 2D F7).
Run 893 September 12 Shunt
McKinnon Hotel
Cnr Grange & McKinnon Rds, McKinnon
Melway: 68 E10
Run 894 September 19 Mothball
Georges Hotel, Cnr Coventry and Cecil Sts,
South Melbourne.
Melway: 2K B2.
UPCUMMING EVENTS
Lakeside Goat Night!
Join us for the Mountain Goat Brewerys Monthly Open Night.
6 pm till late, Friday, September 7, 56 Crown St, Richmond.
Melway: 2H G5
$5 Pints of handcrafted ale; $ 2-3 Selections from the Grill
Contact Too Dumb To Die for more info at toodumbtodie@lakesidehash.asn.au
Sure to be a hit with the Freemasons among us!