Lakeside Hash House Harriers The drinking club with a running problem
LAKESIDE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS COMMITTEE 2004-2005
Grand Master The Boomerang Religious Advisor SBD Hash Cash Underfelt Grog Master Janus Soc Sec Miss Piggy On Sec The Shah Hash Haberdash Shagadelic Hare Raiser Kokup Hash Flash Bovine Breeder Web Master Klingon
Run 1080, 19 Feb 2005 – Red Dress Run Hare: Barterbitch Venue: Oxford Scholar Hotel, Cnr Swanston and A’Beckett Sts, City
The gala Tenth Anniversary running of the combined Melbourne hashes Red Dress Run was a success!!
Some 88 hashers turned up at the Oxford Scholar Hotel on Swanston & A’Beckett Streets for the tenth running of this annual event! Far-flung Visitors included Cheesearse from Taunton (UK), who is visiting Oz and just found the run listed on the internet; Odd-Lay from Samurai Hash in Japan; Snapper Lapper & Kendra from Cairns H3 (ex Canada!); and Mind Phuck, AKA Souvenir from Hobart. Visitors from a bit closer by included Half-a-Bar, Half-a-Bra, & Glider from Ballarat and an assortment of Geelong and Corio Bay hashers.
In fact, you haven’t lived unless you have seen Corio Bay H3 (and complementary lady “Where’s Me Panties”) arrive in a white stretch limo, all piling out in their red dress finery & accessories (most exiting the limo arse-first – lovely thongs, boys!) and accompanied by their GM, Phlaps, who was dressed in the elaborate GM’s Outfit. Words fail me in trying to describe this GM’s outfit– perhaps “Blue Velvet + Fur Pimp circa 1968, complete with matching hat & bling bling” come closest…
There were representatives from nearly every hash in Melbourne: D&E H3, Full Moon Howlers H3, Lakeside H3, Melbourne Hash, Melbourne Ladies, Peninsula Ladies, and Western Suburbs H3! Only Royal Penisula was absent, having proven to be date-dyslexic. There were even Hash Virgins: Lynn and Jennie (who never made it back to the pub! Oops!) and Rhonda, Gordon, and young Mark, the last 3 being related one way or another to Highly Infectious. We also had returnees Whorelse & DroughtBreaker, and Whingeing Pom, who just happened to be walking by!
Two reps from the Salvation Army came along to observe the proceedings and collect the tins after the run, and they appeared to enjoy the event, looking very entertained by it all!
There were photos from the first ten years on poster boards about the place – hmm, who has worn the same dress more than once? Who has worn the same dress every year? Only a very few can lay claim to attending every year – who besides BB – maybe Klingion, GG, The Boomerang?
For a $15 rego, each hasher received a special 10th Anniversary red red dress run t-shirt (thanks to sponsorship from Lakeside Hash, Internet Ready Computers, the Oxford Scholar Hotel & Western Suburbs H3!), a Jeremy Oliver wine guide (thanks to Topslops from MLH3 and www.onwine.com.au!), and a guide to the internet & mousemat (thanks to Highly Infectious’s Internet Ready Computers). They also got a great BBQ dinner, and music for dancing til midnight by a DJ whose sevices were also generously donated by publican Malcolm Wulf.
Plus of course: a great run and drink stop!
This year there was a choice of 3 trails: 1 – a run that went through the new Queen Vic complex and through Chinatown and Federation Square, then across Southbank to the drink stop by the casino, set by Pissed Basher (WSH3); 2 – a walk that went in and out of the Swanston Street and Elizabeth Street shopping districts and across to Southbank to the drink stop by the casino, set by Phart Lap & XR8D (WSH3); or 3 – a run that went down various laneways and streets west of Elizabeth Street and across the pedestrian bridge to Southbank, passing by the drink stop by the casino literally minutes before BB & HiF arrived to set it up, and then disappearing toward the Docklands and Spencer Street, wondering why there was no drink stop…. (Oops!) – set by GG (MH3 and Lakeside H3).
The start of the run featured a photographer from the Sunday Herald Sun getting some great shots of the crowd lined up and then running – but I never saw them turn up in the paper though, oh well! The drink stop (Yes, Virginia, there WAS a drink stop! Ask GG – he was there, even if those who ran on his trail weren’t! ? ) featured a red punch with a punch, made from vodka, champagne, various fruit juices, soda water and red cordial. There was also plain red cordial or water for non-drinkers. While the walkers awaited the runners they took the opportunity to solicit donations from passers by; especially rewarding when one lady put a $50 note in Dancing Queen’s tin! There was also a good photo opp when some ladies in leather strolled by and paused to pass the time.
At the drink stop, Highly infectious noticed that his sister Rhonda, who doesn’t run, came in on the runners trail with Corio Bay and the rest. Concerned that she and 9-year-old Mark might be having a hard time keeping up, he suggested they join the walkers for the on-home. “Oh, no!” replied Rhonda, “We want to stick with THIS group! They’re so much fun!”. Apparently Corio Bay H3 enthusiastically performed their repertoire of songs on trail, mooned people, and charged extra for photos!
Back at the pub, we mingled and drank, and soon the lavish BBQ was laid on. There were burgers, sausages, veggie burgers, chops, salads and bread to feed the multitudes.
Finally it was time for the circle, led by Lakeside H3 GM The Boomerang. He charged the 4 hares: GG, Pissed Basher, Phart Lap and XR8d (The Shah stood in for Pissed Basher, who had Pissed Off) plus Barterbitch as organizer, the publican, Malcolm, for all his generous donations (including the 6 jugs of beer for down downs!), and the DJ, who drank water (because “if you disco & drink you’re a bloody idiot?”).
Next, Visiting GMs drank – Jackoffalot from WSH3, PLH3’s Seamen Feeder, MH3’s Irish, and CBH3’s Phlaps Visitors and virgins (as named earlier) were welcomed, and there were a few charges from the run or on general principle.
Then it was time for the Fashions on the Field Awards to be presented.
Everyone had really gone all out, more than ever before!, for this gala celebration and people just made a FABulous effort– and with past winners Udder Idjit and Lester the Molester absent, it was a bun fight (or was it a boob fight?!) l for first place and the right to call oneself the “Queen of the Night”!
Winning by a nipple (okay, two quite protruding ones!) was the enchanting Gonzo the Gob of Melbourne H3 (ex Edinburgh H3) in his 2-piece red outfit accentuated by Madonna bra and Bo Derek braids, red headband and black hose! He received a top Kahlua gift set. Rating next in the 5-way tie and still a “number one” was the glamorous Nefertits (Lakeside H3, Montreal H3), who shone in a lovely layered drop-waisted and sashed red pleated mini dress, offset by rope pearls and a stunning upswept red hat; he won a very nice bottle of over-proof rum. Next up was the eye-catching Pig Pen from Corio Bay H3 in his daringly short, daringly revealing Liz Hurley style red dress held together not by safety pins but by thin red strips (he’d imported it from the US via ebay.com), and accentuated by a red dog collar and shoulder bag! He won the much-coveted case of Goat Beer, donated by the Goat Brewery in Richmond. This no doubt came in handy in the limo on the way back to Geelong! Also a classic was the sultry Clitus (WSH3 & Lakeside) in a red snakeskin mini-skirt and off-the-shoulder top and matching accents, accessorised with a red print scarf and Indian long-beaded cloche-style headdress. To round out the top 5 front runners was Pammy Anderson look-alike ((!?), the sensational Snapper Lapper (Cairns H3) in his blonde wig and double (or quadruple, more like) D’s bursting out of his dress.. A marvelous and highly impressive effort all round!!
Next we had the Udder Idjit Commemorative 2nd Place (“Always the Bridesmaid”) Award, for which Udder himself donated the prize, a bottle of London gin. This went to the classicly attired and accessorized Mothball, who had changed in the cab from the airport to get to the run direct from his & Tiger Moth’s holiday in Cairns. He wore a number Camilla herself would envy – a demure style perfect for the older woman, a long sleeved red polyester dress with a drop sash waist and a bold side split – all fashionably accented by Mothball’s red earrings & pearls and red net tea hat…
There was another tie for 3rd place: The Boomerang in his long blonde curls, feather boa, and form-fitting sleeveless evening gown with a thigh-high split and garter won one of the $30 Sanity Vouchers; Phart Lap joined the mob in her satin ball gown, as did Highly Infectious in a “grandma down on the farm” dress accented by shimmering red wig and pearls. Corio Bay’s Lubra and Mussel Puller might have got a mention in this category too for their excellent outfits (fur-trimmed red bra and hem on a shortie negligee accented by red beads, red hoop earrings, red sunnies, and many multicolored tatts!!, and, classic short-sleeved red minidress & fashion hat, respectively), but they had already left – though, as consolation they were handed the donated prize of a “Hustler” magazine as they headed for their limo… More of the generously donated bottles of spirits went to our additional top winners.
Next was the “Tug Commemorative ‘Most Tragic Outfit”” Award, bottle of fine red donated by Tug himself, and it went to GG in his fascinating ruched fishtail, which he wore a few years ago and (he proudly revealed) dieted down to fit back into this year! A white fright wig completed the, er, effect. Rounding up the last set of prizes in the fashion stakes we had the fetching Marbles in a clingy metallic red number with spaghetti straps, The Shah in a long schoolgirl-style red dress with white trim & buttons (which wore while riding his push-bike from home to the event), Souvenir (aka Mind Phuck) in a satiny cocktail dress, and Seamen Feeder in a bead-accented red mini-dress and matching red flowery headpiece. In addition, Eleanor, Mark, and Add On took out the prizes in the Under 10’s!
More charges followed, with Barterbitch being presented with a chili plant (red of course) by Lakeside H3 as a thank you for her work on ten years of red dress runs. Unfortunately I didn’t write down all the charges and don’t remember them any more! I just know Scary Spice was up there for something, as was Rhonda for her enthusiastic running, Dancing Queen for getting a $50 at the drink stop (or was it because he’s sharing a hotel room with not only Duchess but also the other PLH3 and GH3 ladies!), Duchess, Jockette, Jackoffalot (for complaining about her raffle prize and then being given a dog bone in exchange – when she asked why there was a dog bone in the prize bag, it was explained that sometimes in the past there had been “Best Dressed Dog” awards, and she immediately took offense!), Gordon for being a red dress chicken, and more….
Then it was on to the dancing, dancing, dancing to the DJ til dawn (well, midnight anyway, when even Malcolm the publican finally joined us in a rousing chorus line of high kicks for “New York, New York”.
Special Thanks and to the following for their very generous donations of prizes for the Fashions Awards and the Raffles – we had the highest number of, and the highest quality of, prizes ever this year!: The Mountain Goat Brewery in Richmond, Phart Lap (WSH3), Roadrunner (MLH3), Irish (MH3), Benny the Beast (WSH3), Melbourne Hash House Harriers, XR8D (WSH3), Udder Idjit (LSH3), Tug (RPH3) Boner (WSH3), Point Post (MLH3), Jackoffalot (WSH3), E&B and Cooch (LSH3), BB & Highly, Marbles (WSH3), and a number of others whose names I missed writing down in all the excitement, plus IBM, The Boomerang, Ginger Beer and RPH3 and others for their extra monetary donations.
Thanks also to everyone who participated or who supported the run in any way, helping at registration (The Shah and Phart Lap, Quasi, including those who came along even though they had other events on earlier or later but still made the time to stop in, or those who made donations when they couldn’t be there.
Thanks again to our ‘major sponsors” and please utilize them or give them your patronage – The Oxford Scholar Hotel and publican Malcolm Wulf (Best Hash Pub in Melbourne!), Internet Ready Computers, Lakeside Hash, Western Suburbs Hash, Melbourne Hash, and Jeremy Oliver onwine.com.au!
PS – PHOTOS WILL BE POSTED SOON!!! to
http://www.iready.com.au/rdr
Barterbitch
Upcoming Events Next Full Moon run is Run No. 59, 27 February 2005, Hares, Simon (Bloodhound) and Faye Hollands, Location: Werribee Gorge, Quarry Picnic Area on Myers Road which is off Pentland Hills Road, next exit from the Freeway after Bacchus Marsh. NashHash Easter 2005 .
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