Run 1407 Report

Lakeside Hash House Harriers The drinking club with a running problem

LAKESIDE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS COMMITTEE 2007-2008

Grand Master:  Stefanie “Big Bang” Elbracht Religious Adviser:  John “Klingon” Perkins Hash Cash: Simon “Lubang Oz” Wreford Grog Master:  Checking Chicken: David “Udder Idjit” Cheeseman Sgt@Arms:  Alan “Tripod” Skinner  Soc Sec: Linda  “Cyclone Tracy” Anderson-Berry On Sec:  Andrew “Bovine Breeder” Leong Hash Haberdash: Lorraine “Egg & Bacon Pie” Gierke Hare Raiser: Graham “Sooty” Lloyd Hash Flash: David “Point Post” Shearn Web Master:  John “Klingon” Perkins

Run 1407, 24 Nov 2010 Hare: Egg & Bacon Pie, X-Rated + Cooch Venue: 115 Buckingham St Richmond

Having not turned up for six months or so to Hash, I’m a bit behind on who-is-who among the impressive legions of new runners at Lakeside.  Because of that, and having been kindly invited my our host Egg & Bacon Pie to write up the hash trash just as I was leaving for the evening; well, you’ll please excuse me if this report is highly deficient as a record of what went down and who said what to who and so on…

One thing that stands out is a number of long and rambling charges put forth by Kling-on. It’s difficult to sum these up, since they were all truncated by Tripod (the stand-in Sergeant-at-Arms/ GM/ Everything-Else) for long-winded verbosity, with Kling-on himself winding up doing plenty of drinking as a result.

Of course I do remember my own Fashionista charge against Lubang Oz’s fey little tartan ensemble of vest, shorty-shorts and outrageous wee sporran – unbecoming attire for a gentlemen of a certain stature.

Metartasole and his good lady, Slipher A Bundy, had their young nipper of 13 days age along to his fifth Hash (or else his 13th Hash in five days!). Either way, this has to be a world record for youngest runner to 5 (or 13) runs. Yours truly urges the current Committee to rush the case for ratification before the International Council of Hash-house Harries, or whoever.

Another thing I remember vividly is Metartarsole breaking out into a burst of Highland Scots during another charge (also long-winded): I couldn’t get all of this down but it went something like this:

On Wednesday nicht I were wachlin’ hame after machtie; wi’ the road true lost and me travellin’ all alone; they said te take the high road – but I done took the lower one on te road after sooglin’ through Yarra Bend. When the kilts are swingin’ madly in the hi’lands, and the pipers blowin’ blasts on ev’ry bend, ye can listen te Hashers talkin’ but ye don’t ken wha’ they’re sayin’ for the Hashers has a language a’ their own. If your wan&! #8217;drings had a lead ye to the Yarra; ye’d a’ found less than sense an’ the ground’; and a’tho ye couldnae find it, ye’ fell on t’knees and kissed it, when ye finally crossed t’trail  – wachlin’ hame.  Along that wee burn they call the Yarra, and’ up and over dale an’ through the glen; I saw a shortly-tattied bogan in the gloamin’; and a lad wi’ face all blue like ancient men. While I’s burlin’ long like t’ wearie, or a wiener wigmalerie, and of that i’ ye got a querie  – wha’ mate  – ye wouldnae want te know! So – they took te high road, and aye took te low road, and I get me hame ‘afore ye –.all except Sooty and Mummies’ Boy wha’ wor lochied outside; wi’ the grog a’ lochied-in te garage for a’ that. Then the haggis started leapin’ and the circle started’ skriekin’ and the charges comi! n’ thick and fast behind, and te run got rated ‘barrie’ and E & B, X-Rated and Coochie wor bloated frae te doon-doon-doon!

Whae hae!

Scribe: Mummies’ Boy

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