Run 1410 Report

Lakeside Hash House Harriers The drinking club with a running problem

LAKESIDE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS COMMITTEE 2010-2011

Grand Master:  Stefanie “Big Bang” Elbracht Religious Adviser:  John “Klingon” Perkins Hash Cash: Simon “Lubang Oz” Wreford Grog Master:  Checking Chicken: David “Udder Idjit” Cheeseman Sgt@Arms:  Alan “Tripod” Skinner  Soc Sec: Linda  “Cyclone Tracy” Anderson-Berry On Sec:  Andrew “Bovine Breeder” Leong Hash Haberdash: Lorraine “Egg & Bacon Pie” Gierke Hare Raiser: Graham “Sooty” Lloyd Hash Flash: David “Point Post” Shearn Web Master:  John “Klingon” Perkins

Run 1410, 15 Dec 2010 Hare: Twisted Sister & Lick&stick Venue: Yarra Bank Reserve, Creswick St, Hawthon

An idyllic and private setting alongside a swollen Yarra River where 26 hashers congregated in anticipation of a twisted run through the streets and parks of the inflated real estate haven of Hawthorn. No wonder everyone is happy living in Hawthorn….” we are happy people in Hawthorn….get it?”

The hares were well prepared with several maps available for the security of both runners and walkers who may suffer from chalk or flour glaucoma. According to the maps, the run progressed alongside St James Park, up Hawthorn Grove, over Glenferrie Rd , circumnavigated the Swinburne University, down Burwood Rd, detoured along Manningtree Rd (named after Astro) and back under the Hawthorn Bridge to the waiting arms of Twisted Sister and her Likinstick. The walkers, segregated into three cliques, were well satisfied with the stroll and who cares about the runners.

The Acting G/M, Tripod nominated The Prince of Praise as the run reporter who was scathing in his report, citing a lack of on-backs and devoid of clever checks that should have kept the pack together. He would have scored the run at 1/14, but as the Sister set the run twice, he awarded her 2/28, with a compensation award of 8/10 for the food. By secret ballot, the walkers awarded their walk at 27/28.

Down Downs Wild Child as a returnee – erroneously referred to as Love Child, being the female offspring of Deep Throat. Crabbo as a returnee – escaped the English winter and is now cosily settled into a one bedroom cottage in Bendigo with his Upper Class Tart. Tripod – 86,701 runs (the sum of his monthly pension), IWM – 150 runs, Astro – 313 runs, Deep Throat – lost run count 10 years ago. Lubang – generous contribution as Hash Cash to the Xmas Party Pissup fund . Wrote rubbery cheques to the St Kilda, Elephant and Wheelbarrow Hotel as the host of the Xmas Party, and a bonus cheque to the Elephant and Castle, an unrelated venue in Port Melbourne. Someone distastefully referred to him as a senile old bastard. E & B – poor use of the “Are You” terminology Twisted Sister & Likin&Stick – run maps shaped like a pistol Lotsa Fun and Cheescake – improper guidance to Lube Oil during ‘take them away” celebrations Crabbo – sexually arousing hashers and guests on his knee during his role as Santa Claus Cut Loose – overstaying her time on Santa’s knee Nicklebee – new shorts failing to secure his genitalia during the run Cut Loose – retrieving tennis balls on the run and threatening to take up the sport. Gringa – no reason needed to give her a drink Astro – taking the walkers off the run map to reminisce over the glory days of the Happy Team at Hawthorn at the Glenferrie Oval. GG was violently sick during the happy detour. Flem/IWM – attempted break in at the park loos Twisted Sister and her Likinstick – failing to utilise the scenic paths along the Yarra Nor Me – taking over the drinks master role Cooch – missed the non-existent drink stop Announcement Deepest condolences to Sooty on the passing of his Mum in New Zealand  

 Scribe: Astro   Announcements:

New LSH3 rugby top for sale!  Available in red or other colour, collar & print is white or black  $30.

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