Lakeside Hash House Harriers The drinking club with a running problem
LAKESIDE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS COMMITTEE 2012-2013
Grand Master: Pauline “It Wasn’t Me” Middelveld Religious Adviser: John “Klingon” Perkins Hash Cash: Simon “Lubang Oz” Wreford Grog Master: John “Klingon” Perkins Checking Chicken: David “Udder Idjit” Cheeseman Sgt@Arms: Barry “GG” Kerr; Soc Sec: Linda “Cyclone Tracy” Anderson-Berry On Sec: Andrew “Shitoffashovel” Middleton Hash Haberdash: Lorraine “Egg and Bacon Pie” Gierck Hare Raiser: Nick “Nickle B” Leicester Hash Flash: Mark “Ambidexterous Hand Job” Kalic Web Master: Stuart “Flem” Smith
Run 1544, 27 March 2013 Hare: Kok Up Venue: Ross Straw Pavilion, Manning Reserve, Parkville
Lakeside HHH Run: 1544, Ross Straw Pavilion, Manning Reserve, Parkville Hares: Kokup, ably supported by some fine council bbqs and the scenery of Royal Park Despite being within a kilometre of the CBD, this was one of the hardest hash lagers to find for multiple reasons. Most were associated with peculiar pavilion and park names and google locating the run somewhere 2-3 km south on the website. A mistake for which the hare must surely be held 97.39% accountable, but the hash must take credit for the rest and realise that its vertically impossible to look up Melways references online. Online being where most of us go for our directions. Despite the locational difficulties and some bad traffic, by 6:45pm a good crowd of 25 were itching to go. The hare wasnt and couldnt be found. This only gave the hash time to witness the strange sight of Santa Claus arriving in a form that bore an uncanny resemblance to Rolf Harris. Santa dropped off boxes of t-shirts, like the hash house was the local Salvos, and then disappeared into the night without word or whisper, not even a bite of a cookie or a peck from Missers Claus. The scribe doesnt know what this was about, but figures a better offer must have been found perhaps there were some willing reindeers down the road. The hare returned and after a tale of where we were (we know, we defied the cryptic directions) and what the run might resemble (but didnt) we were off . . . on what proved to be one of the most interestingly laid trails at Lakeside for over five years. It really was a benchmark for what a trail might resemble, with a few Kokup like flaws to bring it back to the pack and out the back. This might have been called the run of numbers for depending on what parts of it you did and how much you might have run a 0 in a clockwise direction, a 6 passing within metres of a smiling hare, Punch and Upper Class Tart, all who might have been holding champers in their smug right hands as they waved and wished us well for the second half of the run and an 8 with the top naught filled in second by running in a clockwise direction. Of course, this didnt eventuate for half the pack as the trail often passed too closely to itself and the hare was required to wave and frighten us back, or the hare wasnt around to point out missing trail markers and runners went round in circles and got lost, eventually strolling home with less than an 8 to their credit. Nevertheless, the idea of running the pack past the hash house and shutting up those who like to spend the good part of a run pondering if its a clockwise or counter-clockwise run by making it both, was great. It was a definite blue print for someone to take up the challenge and run with. As for the scribes number, he had a lovely run, making a small naught at the top of the 8 and arrived back twenty minutes and two beers before the 6-7 runners who claimed to be on-trail but got lost near the top-left portion of the top naught, which happened to be the tram stop on the western side of the zoo. Confusion turned to good food and beer theres nothing like sangers and salad on bread. Then it was realised that Cyclone Tracey might be lost . . . then it was realised that Lubebang Oz and two others might be lost . . . but then we realised there was more food and beer for the rest of us and the conversation started back up, again. Before the circle commenced the lost runners strolled in with tails of poorly laid trail and woe, or they had absconded without a word Cyclone! Lets hope she never goes missing on a run because there have been more than a few cried wolf tales. Circle called . . . and you know the rest . . . Lakeside song followed: Were a happy team at Lakeside Were the mighty fighting harriers We love our runs And we walk to win Riding the beer with a grin At Lakeside! Come what may youll find us smiling Hashing is what its all about 4 3 2 1 One for the GM and all for the lager Is the way we drink at Lakeside We are the mightiest fighting-est hash! On-On
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