Date: 9/4/14
Hares: Tricky Dicky and Gringa
Venue: Central Club Hotel Swan St Richmond
Scribe: Cheesecake
Run started from the Central Club Hotel which was built in 1888 and hasn’t had a lot done to it since. Apart from the falling masonry, peeling paint, leaking ceiling, flooding toilets and sticky carpet it was in good shape.
Tricky Dicky must have talked to Saint Genevieve on the AM band not the FM, because St Genevieve is the patron saint of both drought and excessive rain, and guess which one we got on Wednesday night? 48 hours of non-stop rain. Poor Tricky set the run about three times, having it washed out every time. Or did he? If he had a hotline to the Weather Bureau via Saint Genevieve and he knew in advance that it wouldn’t stop raining, maybe he just planted a couple of random arrows, went back to the pub for some beers and then when we turned up he wails “Gee it’s terrible, all my arrows have been washed out!”. Thereby saving himself 1 ½ hours of trail laying.
The pack egressed the hotel past the sign “Patrons, please don’t drink outside. Thankyou”. Dahh! Wimpy walkers had umbrellas. Gringa took off with the walkers. After the Genevieve debacle, Tricky felt insecure about his relationship with Saint Anthony patron of lost things. Knowing the allowable runner loss threshold is 10% per run, Tricky shadowed the pack.
Prince and Cooch were praying hard to St Rita of Cascia, the patron saint of hopeless causes, because every on-back and check had them running this way and that, valiantly looking for that elusive arrow. Those with superior hashing skills just followed the hare. Then there was E&B.
He’s not called Tricky for nothing. She was looking for arrows. “Should I go up here further?” she yelled at Tricky. “Just a bit further” he yelled back. “Should I go to the top of the street?” she shouted nervously. “Yep, that’s right, just up there” replied Tricky. “Any further?” she called tremulously. She was half way to Hawthorn before realising she’d been conned.
The drink stop was in Rolf Harris’ kitchen and was a splendiferous selection of French beer and Roses Milk Tray chocolates – or what was left of the beer after Sir GG had a few and what was left of the chocolates after Addon had four.
Exactly who is the artist formerly known as Rolf Harris? Is she Tie Me Down or is she Not Rolf Harris? At the drink stop it was observed that Rolf has two pussies and an old box. The ginger one was on the floral sofa, while the tortoiseshell one slept on the stripy sofa just near Rolf’s Dad’s old wooden box. Given her preponderance of pussies, maybe she should be Pussy Galore.
Saint Christina the Astonishing who had the gift of levitation, had Klingon hovering invisibly above the pack for the entire run. How serendipitous that St Christina dropped Klingon in it exactly at the drink stop. Rumour has it that he actually went to the wrong hotel hoping to replicate Saint Isidore the Labourer’s gift for bi-location.
Back at the hotel, Sir GG was observed leaving early. Did he nick off in order to spruce himself up for the impending visit of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and Prince George? Or did he know that the Central Club Hotel was once the Cremean Family Hotel and that several members of the Cremean family were Parliamentarians, Councillors and even a Mayor of Richmond – all hard core members of the ALP in the good old days when Richmondites could vote early and often, even dead ones. Not the sort of place that a Royalist chap wants to be seen inside.
Charges
- Returnees: Addon, LicknStick, Twisted Sister, Not Rolf Harris
- Prince’s run report – fast walk through the rain, everyone was hare conscious, we just followed the hare, unique markings – awarded 15/30 being half marks for half the marks.
- Cooch for trying to escape.
- Palandromic runs – Prince, E&B, Klingon, Kokup.
- LubangOz for not remembering names.
- Addon for scoffing down 4 chocolates at drink stop.
- E&B and Not Rolf for not knowing where Rolf’s pussy is.
- LubangOz for being good at locating pussy.
- Klingon for losing the trail but finding the drink stop.
- Tricky for tricking E&B.
- Tricky, Pointy, LubeOil for leaning, although, given the state of the building, it may have been the walls.
- Punch – rebound concerning Leah.
- Klingon, Leah and Addon for being latecomers, went to wrong pub.
- Pointy for scorning Lamborghinis.
Notices
Next Bike Hash from Heatherdale Station 4 May
Next Full Moon Hash – from Bunyip State Forest
Next weeks run – Racey Tracey at Prince Maximillian Hotel