Run 952 Report

Note: Whoever jos-@small-world.com.au is, I either have mis-typed your email address or you’ve set your account to knock back junk mail like the hash trash.

Lakeside Hash House Harriers

The drinking club with a running problem

Lakeside run on Wednesday nights starting at 6:30ish, usually within 10kms of the Melbourne CBD (Central Boozing District). Runs cost $2, the food costs $3 unless it is at a pub, and drinks cost $2. Visitors are always welcome – just show up and ask for a drink!

LAKESIDE HASH-HOUSE HARRIERS COMMITTEE 2002 – 2003

The Uncommitted

Grand Master

Mummies’ Boy (Phillip Edwards) Ph: 9479 1978

Sergeant @ Arms

Baa-baa-ra (Kevin Kitchingham) Ph: 0414 770 288

Hash Kash

Stuck -On (Wendy Guo) Ph: 9534 5495

Hash On-sex

Too Dumb to Die (Ian Morgan) Ph: 0439 944 945

Social Sex

Egg’n’ Bacon Pie (Lorraine Gierck) Ph: 9421 1134

Trail Master

Cooch (Rowan Compagnoni) Ph: 9421 1134

Grog Master

Janus (Hugh Watts) Ph: 0419 698784

Religious advisor

Cheesecake (Elizabeth Kelly) Ph: 9521 8038

Web Master

The Boomerang (Jon Miller) Ph: 9523-1694

Hash Haberdashery

Lotsa Fun (Lai Fun) Ph: 9815-2363

Hash Flash

Shunt (Keith Ralph) Ph: 9570 4689

Hash Horn

IBM (Martin Evans) Ph: 0401-147-796

Checkin’ Chicken

Udder Idjit (David Cheeseman) Ph: 0414 716 382

LSH3 Email

al-@lakesidehash.asn.au

Web Site

www.LakesideHash.asn.au

Hash Trash contact

jsb-@pacific.net.au

LAKESIDE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS HASH TRASH

Run 952 16 October 2002

Venue: Swan Hotel, Prahan

Hare: Quasimodo

Udder

returned from his Imperialism World Tour 2002 (Washington DC – London – Rome) to a cozy little bit of old Australia. The head-to-toe wood panelling of the Swan Hotel made him feel right at home. But he wasn’t so comfortable that he was going to miss his hot date that night, so he buggered off early to go chase tail, denying us the opportunity to charge him as he deserved.

The rest of the pack was happy to soak up the ambience, much in the way that the carpet had soaked up decades of spilled drinks and cigarette ash. This was a place with history, and a dead deer on the wall. The kind of joint that pulls in construction engineers who’ve been drinking since they knocked off for an early lunch as well as reportedly dead rock stars such as Joey Ramone.

Despite stern warnings to “BE ON TIME” the hare was no where to be seen at 6:30, or 6:45, or 6:50. She staggered in about 7 having obviously sampled every pub on her “self-service pub crawl” and stared at the pack with bleary eyes before shouting us out the door with a string of a profanity that would have made a sailor blush.

With an “AY! OH! LET’S GO!” the pack was off, dashing 100 meters to the traffic light, then across Chapel Street, waiting, then finally through the back streets of Prawn. The hare had set a weaving, disoriented trail between the train tracks and Chapel Street, across a courtyard bejewelled with tiny blue lights, down Lovers Lane, and past several neighbourhood watering holes, Apart from Baabaara and Tangles, the pack couldn’t be distracted with Devil Rum but were instead hot on the trail – until it started raining. Despite her best intentions, Quasimodo crossed Chapel Street one too many times. We just hope that she has learned a valuable lesson from this, to wit “Never underestimate the laziness of a hasher”. We are told the trail wove a cruelly intricate path to the east of that dread divide, but we’ll just have to take her word for it.

The pack had made a beeline for their pasta and chips in the Swan Bistro and table talk was all about sex sex sex. Cheesecake recounted her erotic dreams of Simon Crean, and Whippet told us of his visit to the “physio” where his “leg pulled” for $35. Perhaps these two sexpots can help poor Lipstick who didn’t go to the Shagadelic Balls-up because she “used to have it, but doesn’t any more”. Now, I’m sure Lipstick will protest that she was talking about an appropriately 1960s-esque outfit, but we all know she means she’s lost her mojo!

And now a moment to recognise the fashion patriots in last Wednesday’s hash. Toto who decided to show old Abdul Bashir Bashir that no one can deny Australians their basic rights to get pissed, get sunburned, and fuck strangers by wearing her matching Bali Beach Club t-shirt and carry bag. E&B was demonstrating solidarity with the majority of Indos (those who’d probably rather get schnockered on Anker Bir than blow up nightclubs) with her Jakarta HHH gear.

Other notables included:

Stuart

who has got ½ of hashing down pat – that is, the drinking beer and picking up hariettes part.

MFU

for bringing strange men to the hash when there’s plenty to go around already

Klingon

for using Alice as a bull-bar

Barterbitch

who couldn’t find the pub because she doesn’t have “2P”

Shunt

for going to the wrong Swan Hotel.

On-on

TDTD

UPCUMMING RUNS

Date

Run Number

Hare

Venue

Melways

Et Cetera

23/10/02

953

Baabaara

Mandalay Restaurant, 436 Bridge Road, Richmond

2H D6

If you get lost, just ask a passerby “Do you know where I can find a Man-da-lay?”

30/10/02

954

H

aunted

H

olloweenie

H

ash!

TDTD

New Venue!

“Burial Hill” aka Flagstaff Park, CBD

2F A1

Meet at the BBQ near the tennis court.

Bring a torch.

6/11/02

955

Mummies Boy

TBA

13/11/02

956

Plugger

Port Melbourne

20/11/02

957

Lizard

TBA

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