Run 965 Report

Lakeside run on Wednesday nights starting at 6:30ish, usually within 10kms of the Melbourne CBD (Central Boozing District). Runs cost $2, the food costs $3 unless it is at a pub, and drinks cost $2. Visitors are always welcome – just show up and ask for a drink!

The Uncommitted

Mummies’ Boy (Phillip Edwards) Ph: 9479 1978

Baa-baa-ra (Kevin Kitchingham) Ph: 0414 770 288

Stuck -On (Wendy Guo) Ph: 9534 5495

Too Dumb to Die (Ian Morgan) Ph: 0439 944 945

Egg’n’ Bacon Pie (Lorraine Gierck) Ph: 9421 1134

Cooch (Rowan Compagnoni) Ph: 9421 1134

Janus (Hugh Watts) Ph: 0419 698784

Cheesecake (Elizabeth Kelly) Ph: 9521 8038

The Boomerang (Jon Miller) Ph: 9523-1694

Lotsa Fun (Lai Fun) Ph: 9815-2363

Shunt (Keith Ralph) Ph: 9570 4689

IBM (Martin Evans) Ph: 0401-147-796

Udder Idjit (David Cheeseman) Ph: 0414 716 382

al-@lakesidehash.asn.au

www.LakesideHash.asn.au

jsb-@pacific.net.au

[My notes having been consumed in a bush fire, I am working from my haphazard memory this week]

hosted a pleasant shiggy-less jaunt along the leafy boulevards of Malvern, commencing and culminating at the oval named for 1956 Olympic champ, John Landy. The 2003 Lakeside chumps, on the other hand, were going for a new record in speed-eating, dispatching 13 pizzas in under 5 minutes, leaving some less saavy newbies without dinner. They are quickly learning to immediately swoop on whatever food makes itself available.

Having arrived late, your faithful scribe, witnessed a string of hashers meandering around the suburban lanes. Boner was doing his best to blow the pack along, with Endurogall accompanying on shrill whistle from the front. Cooch, as usual, was running out every check then lingering long enough for the rest of you soft-cocks to catch up. No problem for this soft-cock, as my two-wheeled transportation device let me zip to and fro without a care (or a sore knee for the following two days either – wah wah).

We zipped through a school and back on in to the Landy Oval, and after the first round of liquid refreshments, along bounded Three (rotund) Men and a Baby to round out the pack. Baabaara, Tangles, and Shunt had disregarded the trail, instead making a beeline for the pub but, not finding any in Malvern opted the local whitegoods store where they picked up a new drier for Major Fuck Up – she’ll need it for all the nappies now that her bairn has arrived.

was playing the conscientious parent as well, though the old adage “If ye shalt display thee childe or puppy dog in yon common green, thou shalt not fail but pick up some sweet poontang” did not seem to be holding true on this occasion.

Newbie Jeff brought along his posse for the free beer, though not all of them were alert enough to cash in on the Visitors, Virgins, and Returnees round. A few other new faces came back for seconds, including Mei Kuen who, contrary to popular belief, does not have the hash name “May Queen”, but is obviously just begging for something along those lines.

was back in Melbourne, having finished his contract for the Mafia syndicate (see “The Sopranos” for details), and had brought another yank back with him. This is the second American to show up in as many weeks, indicative of the tide of political refugees to come once G.W. declares himself President Generalissimo for Life. Of course, this will lead to an increase in American jokes – but I dare to remind our True Blue Aussie readers that only about 14.5% of the American public actually voted for the current Dickhead – In-Chief, as opposed to the clear majority enjoyed by Little Johnny thanks to enforced voting here.

Among our notable returnees, let us not forget our esteemed Sgt-at-Arms, Baabaara, whose absence from the ACT seems rather convenient in retrospective.

On that note, just a bit of hash news courtesy of The Boomerang as well as Barterbitch, who is organising a t-shirt drive to help the Canberra homeless. Drop any old hash t-shirts by her place in Williamstown. All donations tax deductible.

“I have just heard from LittleJon that he & Strewth! are safe and sound.””Capital hashers JR and Sue-Ellen lost their home. So did Thrush’s parents.”

On-On

TDTD

22/1/03

966

Prince

Carringbush Hotel, Cnr Langridge and Raphael Streets, Abbotsford

2C J12

29/1/03

967

Margarita Run

Whippet, O’Doush, and Lay-on-me

Naughtons Hotel, 43 Royal Parade, Parkville

2B B5

CAUTION: Drink, Drive, Bloody Idiot. This is an easy tram ride from the CBD.

5/2/03

968

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22-23 March 2003

Rutherglen BASH Weekend

Victorian Hotel, Rutherglen Moved up one week to the 22nd. See E&B or Cooch for more details

4 pm, 15/2/03

8th Annual Combined Melbourne Hashes Red Dress Run for Charity (ACMHRDRFC)

Oxford Scholar Hotel, 427 Swanston Street, CBD Contact Barterbitch at an-@pacific.net.au or 04121 661 503 for further details