Lakeside Hash House Harriers
The drinking club with a running problem
LAKESIDE HASH-HOUSE HARRIERS COMMITTEE 2002 – 2003
The Uncommitted
= LAKESIDE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS HASH TRASH
Run 969 12 February 2003
Venue: Bella Vista Pizza
Hares: Bovine Breeder and Toto – and Downsizing? My Dong is Bigger Than Your Dong
Comrades!
While work continues on the Great-Big-Dong multistage imperialist-whacking missile our people’s hash continues to train for the Great Victorious Fatherland Liberation!
However, our comrade hares Bovine Breeder and Toto took us far from the Fatherland, far from the Albert Park Lake catchment, to the hills and vales of Ascot.
Fortunately Comrade Toto had called ahead so we were not evicted by the parasitic capitalist pizza parlor owners. On the contrary, George the Pizza Man and Company seemed quite happy to have us dominate the small but well ornamented restaurant for the course of the evening.
They managed to get some business done between 7 and 9 due to an arrange ment whereby Bovine Breeder led the pack on a convoluted trail tha occasionally petered out without warning, leaving the pack wandering aimlessly somewhere in the vicinity of Mount Alexander Road.
But we always picked up trail at some point, though we often found ourselves following a path of dog turds instead of chalk. We were truly in a western suburbs frame of mind, passing a group of police shaking down dealers at the Ascot Vale Post Office. The gendarmes seemed neither alert nor alarmed by t he runners dodging back and forth amongst traffic.
We passed the Polo Club Hotel without comment, but it was only a matter of common sense and gravity that brought us to the Giant French Fry on the cement banks of the Maribyrnong. Once there, we were long in extricating ourselves from the stinking waterway. A few daring souls leaping across the sewage to look for hash on the other side, while wiser souls made their way back to the overpass, finally discovering arrows pointing us across ten lanes of busy rush hour traffic.
Once on the other side we were treated to some anti-war propoganda, obviously penned by the hare in an attempt to get public opinion swayed far enough left-ward to keep his ass at home and anthrax-free. It could only go up from there, and the pack soon found itself wandering aimlessly in the expanses of Royal Park behind the new Netball Centre. Trail was eventually found to lead us out from the monoxide fumes in the busy carpark to the drink stop, next to another open sewer. Father’s thirst was adequately slaked and his vigor revived to an extent that soon had him leaping from bank to bank across 8 feet of liquid shit.
From there it was on-home through the mental asylum/Commonwealth Games village and back up the hill to the Vale. Pizzas flew out of the kitchen, fast and furious, as hot and thirsty hashers headed for the eskies.
Having consumed the wondrous combination of pizza, beer, and Father’s birthday cake, the hash set about with the usual circle business. The 3BD hares were called up to be accountable for a Fellini-esque run (that’s “long and incomprehensible” for you hoi polloi) but somehow escaped with 22 out of 69. The GM awarded Whippet with his 100 runs mug, unfortunately missing the fact that Stuckon was past her centenary and mug-less. Yours truly was charged for sacking RMIT’s Council and Downsizing was charged for super-sizing (fries with that?)
To his eternal shame, the GM had appointed GG as acting Sergeant for the night. However, we managed to make it through the circle in a prompt and timely manner regardless. Father was charged for ageing on the hash, and Bovine for being a product of the Summer of Love – born in 9/69.
Miss Piggy was given the unlikely charge of flirting with GG, and Boner drank for pissing off with the walkers at the hash halt.
69 related charges to TDTD (69+3) and Janus (69+1).=20 Prince was charged for something to do with 45 minutes. Perhaps it was the time spent applying Anusol to affected parts after Mummie’s Boy allegedly “nailed him” lurking around on his hands and knees looking for chalk outside last week’s on-in?
They’re both doing better than E&B who can’t cum on Saturday because of the Air-Show. Bovine was charged for promoting this weekend’s other big war-related event, the Friday afternoon Peace Rally, with chalk slogans on trail.
Father was given a drink as consolation for having a closet full of red dresses which come out of the closet once a year for the Red Dress Run. Perhaps Prince can borrow one as there are no op shops in his posh suburb. Snappalappa (?) were charged for buggering off to Queensland before I had the chance to learn their names properly. Sooty and partner drank a lemonade charge for not drinking beer charges, the raffle was drawn, and another fine hash came to a close
On-On
TDTD
UPCUMMING RUNS
Date Run Number Hare Venue Melways Et Cetera 19/2/03 971 Mummies Boy Royal Hotel, Cnr Spensley and Berry Streets, Clifton Hill 28 K9 Good food promised. CHU= M likely to be delivered. 26/2/03 972 Thirsty Burnley ?? 5/3/03 973
St David=92s Day Run
TDTD Richmond ??
Other Events
When What Where Melways Et Cetera 15/2/03, 4 pm start 8th Annual Combined Melbourne Hashes Red Dress Run for= =20 Charity (ACMHRDRFC) Oxford Scholar Hotel, 42= 7 Swanston Street, CBD Contact Barterbitch at a= nn@pacific.net.au or 04121 661 503 for further details Gazetted LSH3 Run 970 16/2/03 Full Moon Hash Father and Miss Piggy= =92s last FMH3 22-23 March 2003 Rutherglen BASH Weekend Victorian Hotel, Rutherg= len Moved up one week to the= 22nd. See E&B or Cooch for more details Grand Master
Mummies=92 Boy (Phillip Edwards) Ph: 9479 1978
Sergeant @ Arms in absentia
Baa-baa-ra (Kevin Kitchingham) Ph: 0414 770 288
= > Hash Kash
Stuck -On (Wendy Guo) Ph:=20 9534 5495
Occasional On-sex
Too Dumb to Die (Ian Morgan) Ph: 0439 944 945
Social Sex
Egg=92n=92 Bacon Pie (Lorraine Gierck) Ph: 9421 1134 = D>
Trail Master
Cooch (Rowan Compagnoni) Ph: 9421 1134
Grog Master
Janus (Hugh Watts) Ph:= =20 0419 698784
Religious advisor
Cheesecake (Elizabeth Kelly) Ph: 9521 8038
Web Master
The Boomerang (Jon Miller) Ph: 9523-1694
Hash Haberdashery
Lotsa Fun (Lai Fun) Ph: 9815-2363
Occasional Hash Flash
Shunt (Keith Ralph) Ph: 9570 4689
Honorary Hash Horn
IBM (Martin Evans) Ph: 0401-147-796
Checkin=92 Chicken and Acting Sergeant
Udder Idjit (David Cheeseman) Ph: 0414 716 382
LSH3 Email <= FONT=20 size=3D2>all@lakesidehash.asn.au
Web Sitewww.LakesideHash.asn.au =
Hash Trash contact jsbibm@pacific.net.au