Lakeside Hash House Harriers
The drinking club with a running problem
Lakeside run on Wednesday nights starting at 6:30ish, usually within 10kms of the Melbourne CBD (Central Boozing District). Runs cost $2,the food costs $3 unless it is at a pub, and drinks cost $2. Visitors are always welcome – just show up and ask for a drink!
LAKESIDE HASH-HOUSE HARRIERS COMMITTEE 2002 – 2003
The Uncommitted
LAKESIDE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS HASH TRASH
Run 974 12 March 2003
Venue: Darling Park
Hares: Mothball
You pick up the strangest things in train stations. I’d managed to free myself from the daily grind in time to catch a series of trains until I found myself at the end of the line – Alamein. A couple of junkies with dogs were smoking an ill-smelling weed on the platform and all the toilets were locked to discourage shooting up, and encourage pissing on trees.
Just when I began to wonder where I’d get my kit off for the run to the on-site I spotted a bewildered Boner wandering up the street. “Holy coincidence!” I shouted, “I’ve come out on trail.” Only to be told by SBD “No, you dumbsh*t, you’ve just happened across a long and confusing check.” I stripped down right there, whipped out my little shiny horn, and took offtowards the chin scratching bunch of lazy bastards back at the check.
We eventually figured out that Cooch had been gone for a while and decid= ed to head in the direction of his last appearance. Sure enough, true trail was found and the pack bounded along the leafy Ashburton lanes with their gum trees and pommy names.
Mothball kept the pack guessing, leading even the most savvy hounds astray with a succession of cunning on-backs and false trails before finally dragging us uphill to High Street. We zipped through Ashburton CBD, whipped around the bend, and plunged back into the wilds of Gardiner’s Creek Reserve.
We didn’t have far to go before finding the hare encamped by some tinkling falls with a pitcher full of some exotic Caribbean cocktail that tasted suspiciously like shandy. It was a quick stagger back through the Dorothy Laver Reserve and back to the on-in, shared now with the North Melbourne GermanShephards Club and their rabid howling hunds.
We parked ourselves a safe distance away from the “Best In Show” crowd and awaited the grub to come. The dreaded electric grill beckoned. Expectationsand eyebrows were raised with the linen and silver service, and were not deflated by the authentic Brazilian beef in black bean sauce served up by Miriam.
The Circle:
Our Illustrious GM started things off with a rambling account of the supposed Ashburton-Burwood connection (bonds forged in blood) before calling up Vanessa, penetrative tester extraordinaire and refugee from the Brazil harsh and inhumane waxing laws. Fellow Brasilena Miriam joined husband Mothball for a drink.Pointpost gave it 7 out of 304, which was a comfort as I’d worried I’d missed the good part of the run.
Visitors were thick on the floor: Bovine Breeder’s distant cousins Chris and Seng, the Fighting Fu Sisters, and Mary.
Lethal had a drink for good old (as opposed to new and bad) St. Kilda, and Shunt was called up for his Curly impersonation. Jane gave Vanessa some help in taking this lot away before TDTD was called up for taking advantage of thetwo-way glass at the Royal and GG came up for his 500th run recognition. The GM asked us to give him the clap, but he already had it.= P>
Having been recognised, GG took over as SGT and promptly called up Lotsa= fun for bringing in the visitors so she could sell them shirts. “Oodah” was a returnee as was Taxing. Then a naming!
Miriam was transformed into a Tigermoth
Vanessa became a Brazilian Bordello Babe (BBB), which explained the=20 “penetrative testing” euphemism.
Shunt and Udder were redressed for not being at the Red Dress Run
Mothball and Tigermoth were punished for having a flash light.
Klingon drank Chiko’s charge for not being up to North Melbourne Germa= n Shepherd Club standards
Identical twins Chris and Shunt were given a drink, the hare won the raffle again (hint hint) and we all pissed off home.
TDTD
UPCUMMING RUNS
Date Run Number Hare Venue Melways Et Cetera 19/3/03= PRE> 975 Klingon= PRE> Catani Gardens, St Kilda 57 J8= E> 26/3/03= PRE> 976 GG BBQ area, Reg Harris Reserve, off Ferntree Gully Rd, Oakley 70 A7= E> Cholesterol free sausages? 2/4/03= RE> 977 ? = FONT> ? = FONT> ? = FONT> ?