Run 990 Report

LAKESIDE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS HASH TRASH

Run 990 2 July 2003

Venue: Swan Hotel, Richmond

Hare: Too Dumb To Die

The Run

It was a cold US Independence night when the wild and dishevelled pack gathered in Richmond at the notorious Swan Hotel. After much hastening by the Hare, the pack finally left the hotel running into the night. With a hearty “On On” bellowing from their lungs, the hashers of Lakeside ran all around the dirtiest and darkest alleyways of Richmond. TDTD bravely faced death when the “crazy fence guy” challenged him.

The trail was a tough one. I wasn’t sure if we were all going to make it. I looked up and whispered a silent prayer to the almighty and hoped that someone would watch over our poor lost souls. The trail traipsed around the backstreets of Richmond and that “Sydney wanna-be” suburb of Cremorne. It continued over the different railway lines, around the Nylex Silos and onwards towards the MCG. It was noted at the Don Bradman statue that some thief had decided to strike their fortune by sawing off the hat of the great Don. We’ll probably see that hat next week painted green and up for auction at Christies. For the record, I would like to tender my opening bid at $5.

From the scene of the crime, the run continued onwards to the abode of the TDTDs (Too Dumb to Die and Too Dumb to Divorce). Having installed a magical garage opening door device (i.e. TDTD (Die) got TDTD II (Divorce) to standby the garage door), it was like a repeat of the Close Encounter of the Third Kind, with the garage door opening at the command of “On On”. Suddenly Richmond was bathed in the glow of a blinding light with sirens beckoning and calling the innocent fray inside for a spot of refreshment and peril. Many a previous hasher has been sighted entering this abode, never to be seen again.

Drinks were duly served and the standard was noted and approval given. For here was served a fine selection of wine, water and some exotic beers. The refreshments were generously served by the most beautiful siren herself – TDTD II (Divorce), aka Jo. We innocently accepted her drinks thereby throwing caution to the wind. However, in a revealing moment of inspiration, i.e. We suddenly realised that we could not only get beer at the pub, but we could also get food, the pack escaped from this oasis and continued along their disillusioned path hoping for enlightenment.

The Grub

The food was good and all meals were served in close proximity. I ordered the mixed grill and E&B got a huge slab of meat.

The Circle

The pack gathered for the final ceremony of the evening. The GM took charge of the situation and summarily began her spell of indiscriminate charging. Despite the overpowering voice of the guitar singer, the run report was regaled by Lots of Fun with a final score of 14/17. (I think that she might be on the payroll from TDTD). The visitors were summarily brought forward and dealt a charge. Tom, Lady Godiva, and E&B for the transient Pauline. Whilst up the front for the charge, E&B decided to fight for her beliefs by baring her chest. For tattooed boldly on E&B’s chest were the ominous words, “JUSTICE WILL BE DONE”. The volunteers were charged with Astro, Plugger, E&B, TDTD, Whippet, and Mothball. Special runs were done for TDTD, Astro, Plugger, Rolf Harris, and Sooty. Other charges were Cooch for lazy checking, Lots of Fun for doing the checking chicken’s job, Astro for not checking, and Janus for making Alice “Look in my pocket”. The FRBs (Front running bastards) were charged and the main raffle prize of the T-shirt was won by Deeper. Having only run in his second hash with Lakeside, Drunken has kindly volunteered his service to “blowing the horn”.

On On,

Bovine Breeder

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